I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He shit in the fireplace
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
