But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
cat food counts as protein by the way
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
