some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
