if you like me you must not know who I am
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
