big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Who died my cat blue again?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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