Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
