I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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