I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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