Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
