she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
