I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
