Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
