Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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