They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
operation have a gay friend backfired
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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