Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
