I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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