i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
