I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
