This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
