his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
