Whats the glycemic index on semen?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
