I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
