You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Randomize
