maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize