how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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