i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize