So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
