Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
