Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
