The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
