it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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