I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
