just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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