I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
