my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
