she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
