If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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