I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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