There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
