he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
