lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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