Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
