Already got asked if we're dating
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
