If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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