Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just forgot I was standing up.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
