I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
