Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
