Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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