Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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