I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
