I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
