They should really pass out barf bags in church
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
