I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
