So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i will never coherently bang her
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
