also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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