My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
