i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
