too bad you live with your parents still
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize
