I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
