I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
