It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize