you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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