why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
