We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
