The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
