the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
