everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
