I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
