Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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