is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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