Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
