so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
