Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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