bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
