I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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